Get Out of The Rut - Episode #4
Coaching vs Therapy
Hey guys, thank you so much for being here today. I am so grateful. This is my fourth episode and I have heard a lot of positive feedback. What I was actually kind of expecting. It's funny when we started a podcast, we started just putting ourselves out there. We have so much fear of all the negativity.
What if people don't like it? And I just decided to go into this project with the mindset of. Why wouldn't people like it? Or at least even if they don't like it, why would they say that to me? The only people that would be listening to this right now are people that know me and love me and support me.
So I am just blown away with all my wonderful friends saying wonderful things to me, and I'm just so grateful. My wonderful VA, Belle, she is the one that edits the podcast and she's the sweetest person. I'm just so grateful that I have found her. She keeps me on track. She's like. On top of the podcast, when I need to record, I have been sick this week.
My throat hurts a little bit. She has been extra patient with not delivering this podcast on time for her to edit and just the most wonderful person. And since I published, she has been sharing with me these little screenshots from Buzzsprout telling her how many downloads I've had and I'm blown away.
I'm actually extra excited with the amount. The first day we had about 10 downloads. I was like, that's pretty cool. I hadn't even promoted. I said it in one group that I coached and that was the only place. And 10 of those people went there and downloaded. So of course I got curious and said, let's see if I know who those people are.
And I looked around to see, you know, all over the world where they are. And I saw. Chill downloads from the Philippines. And I was like, Oh, I know exactly who those people are. That is so cute. I love them. And they are so supportive and so wonderful. And then I saw one in Boston, in downtown Boston. And I said, Oh, interesting.
That must have been my husband. And he didn't know that I recorded a podcast. So when he got home, I asked him, I was like, so what did you think? And he's like, what? And I said, the podcast. Did you listen to it? He's like, no. What podcast? Wait. So who is that person in Boston listening to the podcast? So I thought it was very like fun and exciting to just start to think about this.
Who are the people that I am, you know, affecting that I am speaking to and I have no idea. So I just can't wait to see how many more I will have just for fun, just to see, you know. The numbers and to see the people and to see the message growing. That's very exciting. So if you are the person in Boston that listened to this, you have to send me a message because I'm, now I am extra curious.
And I think we were in a 50 or a hundred podcast downloads. It was like, wow, that is very cool. It's the first week or two. So very, very, very excited for this work. Okay.
Today, I want to talk to you about three different types of coachings and the reason why I would like to do this is I want to empower you to know what type of coaching you need when you're ready to hire someone because it's not all the same. And sometimes I can see coaches like clients hiring coaches and they are a little bit disappointed with the results.
And when you see what that coach actually offered, it's like, no, that was right. The coach did deliver what, um. So she was saying, but you didn't understand what it was before. You thought it was one shop for all. Right. And I would just like to talk to you today about the difference. And I really do believe that everyone can use some mental and emotional support, right?
There's a place for therapy. There's a place for psychiatry and there's a place for life coaching. Totally different things. When I see people making fun of life coaching, I just kind of. Laugh a little bit because it's almost like if you were laughing or if you're saying that a pediatrician is trying to take the place of a dermatologist.
Guys, very different types of doctors, right? It's all in the field of medicine, but very different thing. And it's the same field of mental health, but very different results are very different work that we do. And there's a place for everything. And I want you to understand what you need. Do you need a therapist right now or do you need a life coach now that you need ever?
But could you use it? Could you use a therapist to help you? Or would it be better for you at this stage of your life to use a life coach? And I want to talk to you about this difference. A therapist is trained to treat this mental illness that you might have, or maybe significant emotional or relational.
Concerns. While a coach is here to really seek to help you to elevate your performance in this specific area, right? A life coach is not better than a therapist, but also a therapist is not better than a life coach. And in my opinion, a therapist will be much better to process your past, to process trauma than a coach can.
Now, I know that there are coaches that say that they are, you know, uh, trauma. informed or they can help you with traumas, I personally was not trained to do this. So if a client comes to me and I can see that she can move past something because of the trauma from the past, I won't go there with her. I really tell her to go see a therapist because that's the field that would help her.
the best. That's what they are trained to do. So I would personally trust a therapist a lot more to deal with depression, especially when it's that clinically depressed situation, right? When you know that it's not just that you're feeling sad every now and then, but you are clinically depressed. I am not trained to help you, right?
Because it's not just change your story, change how you see it. It's actually something happening in your brain and you might actually need medicine. So know your body really well to see when you need to seek a therapist. Also, if you are having suicide ideations or if you have, right, like I said, this deep traumas, that is something that it's, you know, above my realm of expertise, not because I'm not good enough.
It's because I haven't studied it and I am not a professional in the area. So go see the type of doctor that would be the professional in your area. Again, the same thing as a pediatrician, right? I don't want to take my child to a dermatologist when she has a stomachache. It's not that the pediatrician would be better than a dermatologist.
But just not the same thing. They haven't studied the same way to help you with that. So that's kind of how I like to see the difference between coaching and therapist. Now, as a life coach, I can really help you rewrite your past. I personally believe that sometimes even better than some therapists. And here's why I have really studied how to reframe something from a healthy brain.
If you have a healthy. Brain, a healthy mental health that you are not dealing with depression with, you know, you're not dealing with the problems of trauma. I know I can help you rewrite the story. And as a coach, we are also trying to help you really set specific goals and work towards that goal. Be accountable to yourself, right?
How can you achieve those goals being focused sometimes in a different way than a therapist could do. So this is just to tell you that we are not here to compete with therapists because it's a total different. thing. And I personally have worked, my biggest growth happened when I was working with a life coach in a therapist together.
And I could see the difference. And I think that's why I feel very comfortable talking about this difference between coaching and therapists because I have worked with them separately, right? I have done a lot of therapy in my life and has helped so much. So I'm so grateful. And also I have worked with a life coach.
My biggest. Progress happened when I was working with them. It was very helpful for me to have a therapist that was really digging into my past and helping me understand why I was doing things the way I was doing. And then a life coach that would go there and help me reframe the story that I was telling myself and just wasn't serving me.
Those things can be done together. I know there are coaches sometimes that feel a little insecure, right? Like. Uh, I don't want to send my clients to go see a therapist, or I don't want to step on that realm of therapy. When I was getting certified, I was scared to death of like, I don't want anyone thinking that I'm a therapist because I'm not.
And today, I feel so comfortable with this because I can see the difference very clearly. And I can see that there's an amazing place for both professions, right? We need both of them, not only one. The same way as you don't only need a dermatologist or only need a pediatrician or a gynecologist. You need to know your body to know what type of doctors you need right now.
And I want to empower you today to know yourself and your brain so well that you know what type of mental health you can be looking for if you want to improve that side of your life. Okay, so now that I think I really established that a therapist. It's not a coach and we are not competing with each other.
Like, I think I made myself very clear. Now I wanted to explain to you the difference between the life coaches. The first one I wanted to talk to you, it's about that very traditional life coaching. You know that they're using the traditional way because typically you see that coach once a week. And it starts the call, like, you know, someone like this, would you like coaching on, or how can I coach you on today?
Right? It's a very specific thing. And this life coach will really coach you with one specific problem that you're having. And then think to really separate your thoughts from what is actually happening and see your mindset on that one specific thing. And yes, of course. If you change the way you think about one specific thing, yes, it changes so many other areas of your life because you start seeing things differently, but a life coach, you'll go to this one specific situation and work with you on that thing.
So it's very helpful sometimes if you need a job interview and you're feeling very nervous about it to go into a coaching session. And sometimes even in 20 minutes, right? That some coaches offer this very quick, um, coaching sessions or programs have this quick coaching sessions. And it shifts your mindset so nicely that you are able to go into this job interview with a different mindset, like believing in yourself in a different way or just seeing it in a different way.
And it can be very helpful. So a life coach typically will work with you to change the point of view, to change how you see something, some specific situation. And it can be very helpful. The thing with the life coaching that I have noticed is that It changes that one thing and it's very helpful, but everything else in your life, it's somewhat stays the same.
And after you, like the example of the job interview, after you go through that, life goes back to normal, right? Or if you have trouble with your children and you, you know, went through a coaching session and they helped you see the difference with your child, you don't have that problem anymore, but everything else in your life stays the same because you're not working.
Through the whole life. Now, of course, if you have this coach for six months to a year, of course, a lot of things will change, but it's that one by one in different situations, what is very helpful. I remember when I first got involved with coaching was one of my first, probably my first coach. Uh, that I've ever hired.
And I came to her talking about how my child was difficult, right? At school, he was very noisy when he saw me in the pickup line. And it was a little bit awkward because all the other parents had their children waiting and mine were like, so loud. And it was just this one situation that she was coaching me on.
And what happened throughout the session is she changed, like she reframed the way I see the situation where, wow, my son is very excited to see me. Isn't that a happy thing? So whenever I saw the other parents and they're kind of looking at me before I perceived as judgmental. Now I was looking at with the pride moment, look at my child, look how much he loves me. Right. And gave him this big hug. So of course, just that one situation that she coached me on helped transform my relationship with my children. It wasn't the idea of that coaching session, right? That coaching session helped me with one specific problem.
But it did change, it helped me change my relationship with my children. The next type of coaching that I would talk about is the performance coach. It's a coach that is specialized in a whole area of your life. You can hire a weight loss coach or a voice coach or a parenting coach, a confidence coach, a business coach.
All of those coaches are helping you with that one specific area of your life. So if you have a parenting coach, she's really talking to you about your relationship with your children, right? Your relationship with yourself. And the children, those are the things that a parenting coach would help you with a confidence coach would help you become a little more confident in several areas of your life, maybe in your marriage or your work or whatever it is that you are looking to find more confidence.
But that is a very specific thing. I have noticed that there are a lot of ADHD coaches now. Well, I think it's phenomenal. You see, it's nice stepping in the area or the realm of a therapist or a psychiatrist, but it's like, how can you deal with your brain in your life right now? So that is a performance coach.
What is actually very, very helpful too. If like right now I am really growing my business. So I have. The best business coach helping me. What is phenomenal? Now we're not talking about my marriage or we are not talking about my children. We're not talking about my relationship with my parents or my relationship with myself.
We're talking about business. So she's helping me. How can I make this podcast better? Or how can I send better emails? Or how can I market myself in different areas? What do I say in a networking event? Those are very specific things that she's working with me because she wants to improve my performance as.
The business owner, because she's a business coach. And this is where I see sometimes people getting it wrong. They will go to one specific coach, like a relationship coach, but they are really looking for something else, like maybe some help with their business. And it just doesn't match. It's not because the coach wasn't giving you what you need.
It's because it wasn't even what they offered in the first place. And that's why it's so important for you to understand what type of coaching you want. If you want to work in one specific area, let's say that you want to present better. So find a coach that helps with life presentations, right? Like find that specific niche that they work on.
So it can help you improve that one area of your life. The third type of coach, and this is the type of coaching that I have my heart set because I have helped so many women transform themselves literally. And I had a little bit of. You know, self doubt if I should use the name transformational coach, but as I start reading more and understanding more what that coach, you know, that type of coach would do, it's like, yes, that is exactly what I do.
So for me, it was a little bit the opposite. I wasn't. You know, learning how to become a transformational coach. I became it first by doing some life coaching and seeing what has to change, you know, in my perspective, how would I help this client in a different level? And I started noticing that I was becoming more and more, uh, transformational coach.
So that's how all of my studies and my focus was transferred to really become a very amazing transformational coach. And so I would like to talk to you a little bit more about what that is. At this level of coach, it's not enough for you to just develop a new skill or change your emotions and feelings.
We want to see the higher potential. We know that we have this deep potential inside of us that we can't really get it out yet. That's what I help you do because we really need to wake up from living. It's not just then I am helping you become more aware of your thoughts, but we start creating a new reality through this new thoughts and new perceptions that you have.
I really do believe these three different types of coaches are amazing and they're all very helpful, but I need you to know what type of coaching do you need if you need to work on your marriage and it's very specific to you, maybe that's the type of. Coach you need, you need a performance coach, you need a marriage coach or a relationship coach.
If you just want to improve the day to day life, maybe a life coach would be the best for you. But if you are in this place where you know that you are the only quote unquote problem, right? You can see around your life and you see that everything is absolutely amazing, but you don't feel fulfilled. You don't feel happy.
I know I can help you because what you need is to transform how you see yourself. You need to really have the full reinvention of a new person that lives within you, but it's hidden behind all this mask that we make up with the transformational coach that again, it's really us working towards imagining a new self, imagining a new life, imagining.
Who you want to become while keeping everything in your life, right? So it's not the, I wouldn't help you go through a divorce or go through a new job career. It's when everything is really well established in your life, but you're still feeling stuck. That's where I come in and we change how you're seeing everything.
So you can find that fulfillment, the happiness that you know. Should, and again, quote unquote, should be within you. With the transformational coach, I also add a lot of the mindset in it. So it's not only doing the work of a coach, but we really make sure that the mindset is in check. With the transformational coach, I also have the mindset side of it.
And the mindset that I use, the techniques that I use based on CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy. So it's a very psychological and scientific based. way of seeing your thoughts and your emotions and what you're creating on today in the same way of how you want to create in the future. So not only that we become aware of your thoughts and feelings and you pay attention to how you act or you don't act right from the story that you're making up in your mind, we understand that that is how you're running your life.
So the key here is for us to understand your unconscious thoughts and understand what you're creating. The work we do together is to detangle all of those beliefs. Now that you see what it is that you're believing, we get to create what you want to create. But it's hard for you to create when you don't know what it is, right?
You don't know. What do you have in there running your life? That's the work we do together. The transformational coaching focuses on what is holding your behaviors and habits in place. It's kind of the support that you have. What are the values, the beliefs, the emotions that are contributing to your current practices right now and the current outcomes, and when we start to explore all of those habits that you have in place, you can see more clearly what you might need to change to achieve your new desired results.
So that's how we do it. We really focus on reinventing that self image much more than fixing your day to day life. I wanted to see how you want to approach your overall life, right? Instead of just this little problems that is happening every day. My work with you is to really guide you through a life that you love living.
I don't like that saying, like a life worth living. I think all of lives are worth living, of course. But I want you to wake up proud of who you are, proud of showing up on a daily basis. I want you to really reinvent that relationship with yourself. And I have some tools that I teach you throughout the coaching.
That it's really like, how can you create the deep and loving relationship with yourself, that you are your best friend, that it doesn't matter what anyone else is saying about you, you have your own back, you know, you're amazing, you know, you're great, you know, you're doing your very best. So when things are falling apart, you know, that it's not because you're not good enough.
That one is already checked. That one, you already know that you're amazing. Now what, now what else can you do from this place of knowing that you are amazing? So. Just to end here, what I really wanted to tell you is that that transformational coach really helps you find the alignment with your deep soul.
I know that sounds so corny when I say it, but yes, like I do believe that within you, you have that being that lives like your soul, right? Who you truly are. And sometimes we're so upset about this facet that you have or about what other people are Thinking, because what they're thinking of you right here is the person, right?
Am I fat? Am I too skinny? Am I ugly? Am I beautiful? Like, what is it? And we think that they are judging that, but when you have that connection with you, right? That deep self, your deep soul, you know, that those things just, I don't want to say that it doesn't matter because of course it does. Like, of course I want to do my hair and makeup and look pretty, but you know that there's so much more within you that matters so much more.
That is the relationship that we are creating here from that relationship. Now you can do anything you want. And I mean it, you can do anything you want because you're not doing anything because you need to prove something to someone. You're just doing things like achieving goals or feeling braver, feeling more confident in your life because you matter, because you want to, because it's good for you.
So of course, if this is the type of work that you want to do, I'm here for you. I would love to help you and support you through this journey, but also I want you to really find the type of. Professional that can help you and guide you through your days. It's really hard to do it alone. And it's really different for you to see that your thoughts are creating a reality.
The way you are seeing the world right now comes from the way literally you see it. Literally your thoughts, right? That's the story that you're making up about your whole life. And sometimes you make up really bad stories. Sometimes we make up stories that make us very, very sad. Not that being sad is a problem, but when you keep on creating that, and that's what guides your whole life, that becomes a problem and you don't have to live that way.
I'm here to support you any way you need or want. And if you want to understand more about the difference of coaches or. Even if you need a coach, a life coach, or a performance coach, I am more than happy to refer you to some of my beautiful friends. We all do beautiful work and very different work, and I'm happy to connect you with anyone that you need.
Let me know. The best place to find me is on Instagram, that's where I hang out the most, or shoot me an email. I'm happy to talk to you. An email show. I will see you next week. Much love. Bye.
